3.26.2008

clearing

For the past week or so, I've been praying and waiting for clarity. In these times of emotional purgatory, I tend to exist outside of the present, still addicted as I am to the demons of Worry and Guilt. Each step ahead in faith leads to sacrifices, and moments of clarity lead us into the unknown. And, often the winds of change are bittersweet.

But, here it is - my update.
(And this I type, and plan for, be it God's will.)
May will be the last month I will be nanny for these lovely children I have been following around for what will be 2 1/2 of their almost 3 years of life.

Then, for a week Phil and I will go on a modified survival camping trip, accompanied by some friends. We'll practice and learn.

For June I will work under sun and clouds, alongside Phil, doing landscaping or nursery work. I'm looking forward to the excercise and fresh air and plants galore.

Then in July I will be a part of the Primitive Pursuits staff. I feel deeply honored by this opportunity to run around the woods with kids and practice fire-making and learn awareness together.

So there's excitement and uncertainty, leaving some people I love to do some things that I love.
This is such a tiny crumb of all that has been percolating in my head, but it is also such a relief to have the choices now made, and the plans as official as they can get.

7 comments:

Amy said...

I'm so proud of you! It is a wonderful plan, and the babies that you leave will grow to be kind and sweet, thanks to your influence. I love you, and we must see each other soon!

abigail said...

It sounds wonderful! (And bittersweet, as changes are.)

Praise God for peace and decisions begun! The hardest part is sometimes not the carrying out of new things but that at first uncertain and sometimes delicate uncovering of what should be. May He continue to guide you toward clarity this year, and always.

Liana said...

keeping you in my thoughts.

much love to you, heidi.

sharon said...

hurrah for spring cleaning!

Hilda said...

Change is difficult--but I think the doors opening for you are definite signs that this is your next path. You're in my thoughts and prayers. Love you, MOM

Anonymous said...

This sounds like a good plan. I relate to what you're saying about struggling to be present when your thoughts are on your future. I'm struggling with that too. Maybe it's happening because the seasons are turning, and we're moving into the most wonderful time of year here in Ithaca, and we want to get the best out of it, because it is so short. In any case, I am excited for your survival camping trip!

~ Becky

heidiann(e) said...

thanks you guys!
(xo.)